What’s With Adults and All Their Fine Print?

Today I reached into the fridge and grabbed ReaLemon lemon juice. Setting it on the counter, I saw it said that it was 100% lemon juice. I was satisfied about that until I noticed that under it, in very tiny print, it said, “With added ingredients.”

Wait – what? I looked at it again to make sure I hadn’t read it wrong, but saw that I actually read it correctly. It said it had added ingredients, but it also said it was 100% lemon juice? How is that possible?

Perhaps it’s time for a pie chart:

I don’t understand adults and all their fine print. It’s 100% IMPOSSIBLE for it to be 100% lemon juice, with added ingredients. Anyone would agree. Right? If the pie chart doesn’t show you, how about we use a little algebraic expression?

ReaLemon, let me explain: 100% lemon juice means that ALL of the bottle is filled with just lemon juice. If all of the bottle is filled with lemon juice, then there’s no space left for added ingredients!

Oh, wait! Would a word problem be helpful here?

I know, I know. What they’re likely really saying is that ONE of their ingredients is 100% lemon juice.

On Madison Avenue, I guess they call that “marketing savvy.”

In Washington, DC, they’d call it “spin.”

What do I call it? Well, I’m 12 years old… I have to watch my language.

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